Self Comparison Syndrome: What you can learn from Post Malone

Post Malone is a weird cat.

He’s weird on another level. He has arbitrary face tattoos and wears some of the weirdest clothes. We can’t really define his music; hip-hop, rap, folk, pop… somewhere in there. I have no idea where to start. He recently did a hilarious interview with Jimmy Fallon, and from here you get a taste of what I mean.

Jimmy has never tried the Olive Garden before, so Post Malone takes him to experience his favorite restaurant the right way.

I will say that for some reason, I like a lot of his music. He has catchy lyrics and knows how to get people to sing along. I won’t even lie about that.

The point I’m making is that Post Malone does a lot of stuff that has you shaking your head, wondering, “What the hell?” But, he seemingly does not care and does not appear to look for validation from others; and in some ways, many people can learn from this lesson.

Follow me closely as I take you on this strange journey.

Many people suffer from the idea that they need to be “up to par” with the rest of society. For example, this ridiculous piece of media on the right, basically hooking people and telling them they need to lose weight to feel good about themselves. Most of these trash magazines should end up in the... trash. This of course means, that we are constantly sizing up ourselves against everyone else. I’m not sure if there is a scientific term for this, but in any case we could call it, “Self Comparison Syndrome.”

From a survival perspective, we do this subconsciously. If we see a bigger and stronger, dangerous looking person, we decide if we should strategize away from them. In the woods, if I see an animal that looks threatening (all snakes), I will avoid it all costs, including yelling and screaming like a 5 year old.

However, due to constant media attention from new products and technology, we are always faced with the comparison question: How do I stack up?

How are we remotely supposed to accept ourselves as living, breathing, conscious humans when this is expectation that we are faced with when we are buying our groceries?

Something that fascinates me about Post Malone is how he is able to continue making his music, be himself, and disregard others’ opinions. With fitness goals, much of this debate we have internally shows itself in external ways; our performance, interactions with other people, and self discipline. For example, if we don’t feel good about ourselves and accept who we are, we will always seek the approval of others to find a source of positivity. This can be one of the powerful benefits of having a coach, a mentor, or a supportive spouse. They can fact check your thinking, and provide you with what you need to hear.

When we constantly compare our own status to others, we never get a sense of true happiness about who we are. With that, we are telling ourselves that we are never good enough and we can never reach satisfactory levels of improvement. This is the game that social media plays on us, because we only see people doing awesome stuff. Rarely, we see people actually being real humans and dealing with everyday challenges; the internal conversations we have and why we want to be more.

Post Malone is interesting because, in a world where he may be outcast as a “weird” dude, he just does his thing and is happy to stay true to who is. Being fit is just as mental as it is physical. We can be in shape, but if we constantly feel the social pressure and weight of it; our goals are not intrinsically motivated and that doesn’t give us a sense of personal accomplishment. It’s no wonder it’s can be incredibly hard to make health changes, especially when the goal is outside of our own design.

I know that this concept is a little out there, but I hope it gives YOU some validation in that even though you may be striving for new fitness goals this year, you are good enough and you can still be yourself. Self improvement starts when we are able to discover what we want to change, while accepting who we are.

To wrap up…

Be true to who you are, even if it means making sacrifices along the way.

Don’t try to meet the goals of others and define your own set of expectations with fitness.

Work tirelessly on yourself; physically, mentally, and emotionally.

“Like waking up from a bad dream, when we can see our prison, we also see our potential.”

- Tara Brach

Cheers everyone and Happy New Year.

Ryan

Inspiration from Familiar Places

Sometimes we all need to slap in the face.

Something to wake us up from our pursuit of mediocrity. A gentle reminder to say that we are only on earth ONE TIME. We get complacent from time to time, but today I want to share some things that have changed my thinking, motivated me, or just kept me in line. Inspiration can come from a lot of places, and it's important that we have things that continue to push us to new levels. Maybe they'll give you some direction too.

Photo Credit: Skitter Photo, Stocksnap.IO

The Homeless

One day I was walking through downtown Portsmouth, and I passed a group of homeless guys on the street. They were broing out, like they were buddies or something. Like they had some sort of common thread in society and took comfort in knowing that they all had been down on their luck.

Who knows what their situation was. Maybe they made a series of bad choices that led them away from a job or a family. But, it doesn’t matter, they were there. Standing in 20 degree, snowy New Hampshire weather.  

Well, part of me is not inspired by this. I’m a believer in controlling your situation, regardless of the outcome. Whatever happens, it’s on you to own it and get past it. But, with that, I was like man, two or three bad hands in life can land you in a dark place. It doesn’t take much.

However, I was inspired by the fact that these guys were just chillin’, enjoying each other’s company, even though they had only what they carried. It made me thankful for what I have, and gave me perspective in that moment. 

We can all learn from that.

My Clients

I am so lucky! People work hard for me- and for themselves! It’s so impressive. Sweat dripping off their face, coming in at the break of dawn, or staying late to work on technique. I love it.

When I coach, sometimes I get this shit-eating grin. Everyone knows what it means.

This is going to suck for them, but I know they can do it. Usually it’s during a hard AF MetCap circuit or something taxing like that.

For a while, I tried to deny it. But, whatever, I might as well embrace it. Yes, the grin means that whatever is coming next will be hard. It will test you. It will make you work for it. It’s not because I want to inflict serious DOMS on your body. To be honest, coaches that intend to make you super sore or make you yack up breakfast solely for that purpose are… not good coaches. They clearly don’t understand the whole consistency over intensity concept. Enough soapboxing for one day, though.  

Now, here’s why I smile like that. I get so amped when people are in the grind. Embracing the uphill like a boss. It’s inspiring to me, and to everyone around them. It’s the process of growth that I try to teach people to thrive in, and working on yourself in any facet is awesome.

Kids

Specifically, kids that have not developed the fear emotion. There are 4 year olds out there who will SEND IT off of any jump - touch any animal they encounter – or walk up to another kid and hold their hand. No fear of anything- injury, heights, scary animals, rejection, or the unknown.

They just play, and explore, and have fun. Something we all need to do more of.

That’s pretty inspiring in itself. When we have downtime, sometimes is okay to just detach. Turn the phone off and be present. Play. Act like an idiot. Meg says I'm always an idiot, but because you are reading this on the internet it’s okay, I’ll vouch for you.

While we’re crushing it at the gym, and working our way up the chain with our careers, don’t forget to find your center and be with it. If you forget, just go to the park and watch kids for a while.

Wait.

Don’t, under any circumstances do that. Ever. Unless you have an affection for police officers trying to arrest you. 

Teamwork

I don’t just mean sports teams or at work. More on the human to human teamwork. We sacrifice for each other all the time. We compromise and plan so that everyone can get to the gym or get a healthy meal in, all while making sure the kids get picked up on time. It’s all in the effort of progress towards getting what we want.

Finding the right balance can be hard. Sometimes people try to abuse their power and pull us in directions we might not want to go. Other times, we are to blame for our failure to uplift the team. Whatever your role is, teamwork is evident around you whether you know it or not.

For example, I have to do my job, cover my sessions, and help out others when they need it. If one of my team members can't cover a session, I try to have their back. My teammates do the same for me. Without the mutuality, the team bond cannot thrive, and eventually it will show up negatively. 

Another example, say for instance, you take a flight somewhere. Doesn’t matter, let’s say you’re flying to San Diego in search for the best fish taco on earth. If you've seen Anchorman, you know what the city name means.

The flight attendants and pilot ask you to follow directions, buckle your seatbelt, stay in your seat until after take off, and not smoke on the flight. They ask this of you so they can do their job to the best of their ability. And we comply because we want the safest possible flight, not 180 drunk and unruly passengers. There is teamwork in that.

I’m not hyped like CT Fletcher because of service on flights or anything, but I notice little pieces of teamwork all the time. People working to help each other succeed.

It’s pretty sweet. You help me, and I help you. 

The equation is pretty simple, isn't it?

Best,

Ryan