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Motivation

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The "Right Way" and Finding Flow

This time of year, you will see a huge upswing in the amount of interest in fitness, nutrition, and health related content. That’s cool, because people want to help you lose weight, get strong, and crush it this year. I think that’s awesome.

However, there is another side to the coin. With all of this content coming out, sometimes it comes off very black and white, meaning that if you do one thing, you aren’t allowed to do another. I think that’s BS. There’s aren’t any rules to this stuff. Maybe the one rule is, if it hurts, you probably should not do it. Half the fun is experimenting and learning what works best for yourself.

I just finished a fantastic book called “Drive,” by Daniel H. Pink. In it, he argues the need for a state of ‘flow” that allows us to lose ourselves in what we do. Whether in business, play, or exercise, this concept is valid on many levels. It keeps our minds engaged and allows us to keep what we enjoy, part of how we live. That is a crucial component of exercising and nutritional guidelines, and the same reason I tell people to:

Avoid doing things they hate.

Experiment with new activities of interest.

Keep doing stuff you love.

The state of flow is one in which you are able to tune out external influence and focus solely on the task at hand. It allows you to be completely invested in a rewarding, enjoyable experience for yourself. It is also something that is elusive, yet you know it when you’re in it.

Sometimes I get into a flow state when I’m writing, exercising, or coaching. Those are where I find myself in my flow state the most. When do you find yourself in your own?

This is important because of the natural way we are wired. It helps you create drive for yourself in a way that comes easy, and that helps relax us. Forcing other tasks and other routines on yourself that you dislike will only lead to stress, low ambition, and complacency.

As the title indicates, there is a “right way” to attack your health goals. The answer to that is solely up to you. There are will be internet guru’s and other people who will try and help you like me, but at the end of the day you have to do what feels good to you. We as fitness professionals can guide you to make solid nutritional decisions, teach you how to lift weights, and give you the accountability you may need to get to the gym. But, all of that will be hard to replicate on your own if you don’t truly tap into what makes you tick.

With that said, here are some key ways you can find your own state of flow on a daily basis.

Breathe.

Every now and again, when you feel overwhelmed, take a long breath and exhale slowly. It will recenter you and allow you to relax. So much of what we do is fast (I’m the slowest human ever), demanding, and stressful. Just take a second and get it together when you feel like you need to.

Put the phone away.

Seriously. I’m victim of this. We all are at some point. It’s very hard to be focused on something if you are constantly checking stuff on your device all the time. A bad habit I got into was allowing my phone to be part of my workouts. I used to need it to read my training program, but then I would find myself checking social accounts, distracted, and ultimately not getting in a good session. Obviously, I try to avoid that now and am very conscious of it. 

In this instance, try to refrain from having your phone out when your attention is required. You will be more productive and ultimately get more out of whatever you’re doing.

Sleep smarter.

Again, to find flow you need to set the groundwork for it. That starts with solid sleep, to make sure your brain recovers each day. It has to process information at an almost unrealistic level, and sleep is where you are able to shake the etch-a-sketch. So, put the phone away before bed, get a night time routine, and avoid alcohol a couple hours before bed.

This is also something you’ll need to explore a bit. Everyone has different triggers that don’t allow good sleep, so be mindful of ones for yourself. The general recommendation is 7-8 hours of restful sleep, but again, some people need more and some people need less. It just depends on your current situation.

Schedule in mandatory “You” time.

Whatever it is you like to do, you should do that. Daily. I think this is vital to finding clarity and reaching for your goals. Whether that is meditation, or lifting, or running, the more you create opportunity for flow the more you will be able to find it.

I think it sucks when I can’t get my workout in. But that’s my fault. I always look at my calendar and make sure I have a block of time to get it in, even if it’s a 15 minute express. Sometimes life gets in the way of your intentions for the day, but that is the nature of time. There only is 24 hours in the day, and sometimes it doesn’t happen. But, scheduling and creating routine can help get you there.

Enjoy small moments.

The other day I was walking around Portsmouth, it was late at night. Cold and harsh. I was headed toward a friend’s house going past Prescott Park and noticed the moon hovering above me. Bright, glowing, and shining through some clouds. It was a moment.

I took a second. I stopped and just looked. To be present. Shit, it was beautiful.

I live for moments like that. When you find yourself there, take a second look. Embrace it. It will connect you to the world around you and bring your mind back to center.

The right way to build growth for yourself is on your own terms, with your own goals, and your own inspirations. There will always be distractions and people telling you how you should do things, but listen to your intuition and ignore them if you have to. That’s where flow comes into play. Do the things that make you happy, and you’ll be set.

 

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The "19th" Time

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The "19th" Time

Hello everyone!

Yes. I know. It’s been quite a while since my last post. A couple months actually.

So, if you’ve been waiting by your computer anxiously for this moment, thank you! I’m back. Today I’d like to share a few things with you. The first, is a concept that hit me mid drive on the way to work. I originally learned if from Gary Vaynerchuk, who is a really inspirational figure for many people these days in the world of social media. Gary is a guy who many people know well for his outspoken nature and the amount of straight up action he delivers to his audience. But, he keeps it real, and honesty is a good thing these days.

One day I listened to Gary being interviewed on a podcast (EOFire, which Meg LOVES on road trips) and he said this:

“It’s a constant grind. It’s about work ethic. It’s about really really really pushing it, but, it’s also understanding that you can never waiver from what you believe in.”

Boom.

The reason being, as he went on to explain, is that your audience and the people you influence are constantly evolving. At some point, the light bulb is going to go on for someone. Maybe not on the first, second, or third attempt. Maybe it takes 19 times for someone to have that moment, it doesn’t matter. It will happen one way or another. Sometimes it just takes a a little longer.

My Epiphany: Deanne

Deanne is one of the clients who I’ve had the opportunity to work with over the past few years. She came in needing some guidance on pretty normal stuff for a mother of 3 who had been out of the gym for a few years.

Weight loss. Strength. Mobility.

At the end of the day, we all want to look better, feel better, and move like ninjas at a Phish show.

Mike's Song - Mann Center - Philadelphia 07/09/2014

Note: I don't own this video, and I think the person who put it up on YouTube dubbed in the Phish music, but either way it's hilarious. I love how this guy breaks it dowwwwn. All credit to him. 

So, I had been working with Deanne for maybe… a year and a half. We started to have some injury setbacks. She got more nervous and frantic because the scale wasn’t changing. She started to doubt herself. She was right to, I mean, she was putting in the work; hustling; grinding; but had no results to show for it.

I just kept reassuring her that she had to stop worrying and keep at it. She had to make her own changes that worked for her. But, that was easy for me to say.

Eventually, it got to the point where her body just said no. Deanne was worn out. Her joints were cranky and inflamed. She was stressed, anxious, and wondered what she was doing wrong. She took some time off from training, and I was happy to see her do it.

It was time for her to figure it out on her own terms. Without me, without the pressure of getting to the gym, and without anyone’s opinion but her own. In the end, she was in her own head, and I knew that. I even talked to her about giving her an opportunity with another trainer. I wanted to help her that badly.

And then, she let go of what was holding her back.

She started to believe.

To believe, in herself.

Yup. That’s the key.

She started taking a more serious, balanced approach to her diet. She was smarter about exercise, being more mindful of incorporating rest days. Deanne even started trying new foods, types of exercise, and embraced that it’s okay when things don’t go as planned.

To date, I think Deanne has lost over 50 pounds, is looking shredded, and is more confident in herself than I’ve ever seen her. She’s crushing it, and I couldn’t be more proud.

So we went from Gary to Deanne, but why?

Okay, I'll tell you.

Deanne helped me realize why what Gary was saying is so important. Know who you are trying to help, and stand strong with your message through the process. Don’t waiver. 

For Deanne, it was all about faith. You have to believe in yourself like you believe in nothing else. You’ve got to put the pedal to the floor and keep pushing forward. Eventually, the time will come where your goals are in sight. 

Hopefully no one is crying. I told her story because:

  1. She said it was okay.
  2. Everyone has been there.

Keep working towards your goals. You may hit some snags along the way, but that’s kind of the fun part.

Thanks team. You are awesome.

PS. Deanne is such a badass she tattooed “Believe in yourself” on her forearm. Yeah. Not kidding.

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